Well, I just have to say that with all the tough times come the good time as well. We have been married for eleven years today--and it has been a wonderful, difficult, amazing, taxing, joyful, hopeful, and unforgettable eleven years.
It is fun to look back and remember the life I envisioned on our wedding day eleven years ago today and then take stock of what has become of those two kids--God does work in mysterious ways. I could not have imagined that my life would be as wonderful and fulfilling as it has become. Besides the sleep deficit (now running at somewhere around three years) things are beautiful and our blessings are copious and overflowing.
We are blessed with all the necessities of life and more. We are all healthy and strong. We are trying our best to live the gospel principles. We have many opportunities to enjoy our family and be together.
Honey, I love you with all my heart and wish you a wonderful eleventh anniversary. May we always be loyal and loving to each other and keep the gospel in our hearts.
Paul
March 21, 2014
Fun family on trek, but I don't think I could handle this many kids in real life.
Parenting is by far the most difficult thing I have undertaken in my life. No one can prepare you for it partly because kids are so different, but also because it happens along with you living your own life. You may have heard Jim Gaffigan's stand up routine about having four kids.
Pretty funny and all true. Also, I have also been hearing about this book call "All Joy and No Fun" by Jennifer Senior.
I intend to give a read when I have a few moments, but moments are few and far between. I know all of this might seem like I am poor mouthing parenthood and kids--but this is not true at all. I think it is important to know what happens to the family dynamic when kids are introduced into the mix. I think that parents should have the "talk" with their kids at an early age, but I also think they should have another talk at some point about being a parent. The best case scenario is that this will be a formal sit down discussion(s) about being a parent and what it means. Not to discourage or frighten future parents, but let them know what expectations they should have about parenthood. It is fulfilling and fun, but it is a challenge the likes of which they have not heretofore experienced.
The great thing about challenges is that they can make you learn and grow like you never could have imagined. If you work at the challenge in the right way, you can become a much better person and learn about all kinds of things like joy, sacrifice, love, patience, heart ache--that you never could have imagined.
To my wife's chagrin when discussing exotic getaways I always say I want the entire family to come. Granted she needs more of break than I do because she is doing the very demanding job of raising a family most of the day by herself. So I hear you Hon, we will make that get away--just the two of us--but maybe the kids can fly in a few days later. I will ask her to write a response to this so she can be fully understood about her feelings for our kids also, because if there is anyone between the two of us that loves those little guys--it is her.
I want to continue learning and growing as a parent, because I know that one day it will be the most important thing I have ever done. All the degrees, money, possessions will amount to very little when confronted with the lives my kids have forged. It is joy that will last for eternity. Just check it out.
So recently I have been reading some "personal finance" blogs regarding a range of topics. Since I am interested in ways to save and enjoy a good retirement I like to per. I am by nature a person who likes to save. I get this from my dad who has always given me advice on how to manage my money and been a good example here.
In keeping with our efforts to get our kids out and away from the pressures of life and electronics, we decided last minute to head up to Alta and do some skiing with the entire family. We rent the kids gear at the Alta ski shop and then just hang on the bunny hill. Both the older ones made great progress on their confidence and form, and both have really enjoyed skiing. Since this is something we all like to do, we will continue to expand this and plan to eventually graduate to a family season pass at Alta since it is close.
The weather was good and it was about 40 degrees at the bottom so not real cold since all of us were there including the baby. Joaquin is pretty self sufficient now and can basically do his own thing, which makes it way easier for us because then we are not managing three kids.
It is good to have a day set aside to remember those closest to us. I need this, but honey you do not. You always demonstrate your love to our family from doing fun things with the kids to making a favorite dinner. You are the glue that holds us all together. It is great to think that through thick and thin we have grown in our love. Let's have a great Valentine's Day! I love you!
Okay. So birthdays are on my mind right now. Recently my wife and I were talking about the birthday party for our daughter who is turning 5. She was telling me ideas for what she thought would be fun activities at the party. She started browsing some websites to get some ideas...and all I have to say is that there are some ridiculous parents out there. I mean really cakes shaped like castles; food and decorations that look better than the stuff at most weddings; activities so elaborate that they need their own special equipment?
Now maybe I am just overreacting here. Maybe this all good for kids. Maybe watching their parents grant every wish and more; being at their beck and call is a good thing. However, I would submit that first, this all misses the point, and second, it only teaches our kids that parents are servants and they are the masters. I am not trying to say this in Stalinesque we-must-silence-all-dissenters sort of way. What I am saying is--why are we essentially celebrating Disney characters and comic book heroes on our kids' birthdays. Should we not be celebrating the life of the birthee? I mean, really the day that is our kids' day turns into a day all about the food, decorations and activities. How backwards and dumb is that. Why are we not celebrating real tangible people that are great and special. Instead, the birthday celebration becomes all about the stuff and the theme. On your anniversary you don't make it a 49ers or Pottery Barn anniversary? (If you do, then your issues are probably deep and you likely need help). You celebrate the fact that you and your spouse have been able to build enough love in your marriage that you are still happy to be around each other. All the themes, characters, and stuff are just red herrings (just ask Jesus) and just like in a legal argument, these are meant to distract from, and minimize the real point, which is--we are celebrating the life of one our beloved children.
Finally, our kids don't need more friends--they need loving parents who are going to give them guidance and support as they make their way in this world. Not sure it helps a young person to basically be granted everything they want. See Veruca Salt..and oh, yeah, Justin Bieber. I am not saying it is not bad to offer our kids opportunities and spend some money on them, but all things in moderation. I mean what message do we send our kids when we put such emphasis on pleasure and happiness coming from the next purchase? I think we have seen this story before and it does not end well. All the Disney characters already have giant multi-million dollar monuments to them--let's let our kids have their day in the sun without someone or something else stealing the show.
Happy Birthday to you, you sweet little kid. I am so proud to be your father and proud to see what you are becoming. It was five years ago that you were born and Mom, Joaquin and I welcomed you into the family. I remember being excited and apprehensive about having a little girl. This is because I grew up with four older sisters and remember the fun times as well as the difficult times that often visit cute sweet girls during their young lives. We will always be there for you and expect the best for you and from you.
Remember that life is about people and not things. Your Mom will teach you this if you watch closely. Your brother will teach you how to love all things and how to have fun. You have a special gift for making people feel good about themselves and encouraging others in their struggles. Keep it up. You are a beautiful and sweet daughter. I love you very much.
This is the Mayer Family blog. This is our attempt to keep a record for ourselves of the happenings of our family. It is also an attempt to make it easier for our family and friends to see pictures and get updates.
